I’ve been going through a funk.
I’ve spent so many days not feeling well. not feeling myself.
I’ve forgotten who I am.
I’ve gotten lost in sleep and pain and work.
I don’t know how to get out.
I have expectations for myself for how I want to live. I want to be a good nurse. a good friend, sister, daughter, coach. I want to be the stranger who holds the door open, who offers a helping hand. I want to write inspiring blogs. I want to have deep conversations with my friends. I want to travel. I want to be the hockey coach who makes a difference in a young girls life. I want to read books and articles. I want to go for walks and ride my bike. I want to go on adventures with my mom. I want to smile again and mean it.
My best friend Mary Margaret just understands me, she knows (all the way from New York) when I need a kind word. for my birthday she sent be a book of poetry by Rupi Kaur. the note with it says “Happy Birthday to love, healing, and a new year”. I opened the book to a page in the middle and read this and cried, so fitting:
stay strong through your pain
grow flowers from it
you have helped me
grow flowers out of mine so
however you need
thank God for friends who love you when it’s hard to love yourself